Anonymous asked: Who do you miss, and who do you resent?

Who do I miss? Well, I like to keep those people a secret. Simply because telling anyone won’t change it that I do.

Who, do I resent. Hm now that’s a question. To be honest, a lot of people I know. Resent kills everything over time, so I like to recognize it when its happening. So far there’s a little or a lot everywhere. Yeah that’s bad and I have my reasons, but pretty much everyone I’ve met treated me like shit in some way. I can’t or don’t remember a single person that has treated me nicely. Prehaps I’ve written too much.

Anonymous asked: Will you miss me when I'm gone? Who do you miss exactly?

I first I thought holy shit who’s sending messages to a blog I don’t use when I made another.
Which id give it to you but you’re anon.
Besides that, miss you? Its hard to miss someone when I don’t know who you are.

Who do I miss? No one really. Well two people.

Today at work was weird. I did my normal routine and felt really light headed half through it. I got home and kept thinking none of this shit matters, why do i care for any of this, none of this matters. Over and over again, I felt a broke down. I asked myself why am I doing this, what have i really become? what am I doing? All of this shit has no point. There is no point to anything. To get up, to work, to talk, to listen, to do anything. I fell asleep at 8 am, I woke up at 6:43 pm.  I slept,  I slept because I knew if I woke up, I’d think, if I thought, I realized, If I realized I had to accept, if I accepted, then I would fully understand what I was in. I don’t take my breaks, or stay awake for my lunch because of this, because in less than 2 minutes, everything that’s going on, or went on, I’ll think about. So sleeping is my best friend. 

I’m tired of this, I miss you, and I miss how it used to be. How it used to be will never be, and I know that, but I keep lying to myself. 

I resent you. 
& i think you of you a lot.
it’s made me more quiet.
I’m always quiet now.